A little chuckle for your day...

My mother-in-law informed me I hadn't posted in awhile so here is something to tide her over until I can get all my pics up from Hawaii. I received this as a forward a few months ago and was just re-reading it today and still find it humorous and so true, so why not post it here for all to see. I have no idea who originally wrote this, but wish I did, I think we would be best friends! I've highlighted my favorites.

• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.


• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


• I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?


• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. I


• totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.


• Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.


• There is a great need for a sarcasm font.


• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.


• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.


• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.


• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.


• Was learning cursive really necessary?


• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".


• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.


• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".


• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!


• Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


• Bad decisions make good stories.


• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!


• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?


• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.


• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.


• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.


• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.


• While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.


• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?


• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.


• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.


• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...


• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.


• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fatso before dinner.

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I hope you are out enjoying the sunny weather today, I'm working but plan on getting out and enjoying the weather soon. I will try my best to get some Hawaii up soon...maybe this weekend since I have a feeling this sun wont stick around long. Happy Sunday :)